Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

May
03

On September 11, 2001, when the towers came crashing down and firefighters were working to put out the fire at the Pentagon, the news was full of images from various middle eastern countries showing people taking to the streets to celebrate the devastation in America. The images made me physically ill. I couldn’t imagine celebrating the death of other human beings. So when Americans took to the street on the night of May 1, 2011, after hearing that Bin Laden had been murdered. I was equally disturbed. I’ve heard many arguments for why it was ok to celebrate… this is war… he admitted to planning the 9/11 attacks… the casualties inflicted by Bin Laden are far worse than what we did… and worst of all that this was justice for what he had done.

I don’t support the war, so the war argument falls on deaf ears. Bin Laden did allegedly say that he was responsible for 9/11, but he also said he wasn’t. People choose to believe what they want. If he had said he did at first and then tried to take it back people would still choose to believe he did it, so that argument holds little weight with me at all. If you want to weigh the events of 9/11 with the events of 5/1, then yes, that’s thousands vs. 1. But that’s a reckless way to approach it. Especially with little to no consideration for what drove Bin Laden to “allegedly” attack the US in the first place. I need to make this as clear as possible. I am NOT and have not ever been a sympathizer. I do not in any way shape or form feel that the actions of 9/11 were justified, but to act like Bin Laden just woke up one day and said “I just feel like bombing the US” is ignorant. Years of US foreign policy led him to believe that these actions were somehow justified, and those policies led to several civilian casualties in countries many of us had never heard of before 9/11.

But even with all that, the thing that bothers me the most is hearing his execution referred to as “justice”. I don’t believe in the death penalty to begin with, but to call an execution with no trial “justice” upsets me more than anything.

I guess this is just a rant of sorts. The whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth and I hope that people consider how those “celebrations” must have looked to the outside world… especially since we’re such a “civilized” country and all.

Mar
29

It’s no secret that one of my long-term goals is to start/run/manage a school. The ultimate goal is to get parents invested in their kids’ education and focus on improving financial literacy/life skills for the entire family… yes, i realize the irony of me wanting to educate others on financial literacy, but whatever. I feel like i may be one step closer to the mission with my new job. No plans to get into detail but it’s in the education realm. I don’t see it as my “gateway” job, but I do feel that it will allow me to at least begin to understand how the education system works and allow me to make some good contacts… That being said, I wouldn’t be me if that was my only endeavor occupying my time. In addition to working with Cap Citi, and still planning to someday tackle the bar exam, I am also considering becoming certified in project and program management and working to become debt free asap so that I can go into business for myself in some capacity sooner rather than later. The rationale is that the less debt I have the more risks that i can take…. I just don’t feel like i’m cut out to work for someone else…
Ideally the best friend and i will come up with a business plan and it will make us filthy rich… i’ll keep you posted on that…

Feb
08

I’ve strayed away from some things that are important to me lately. Been neglecting the photos and the studying and just a lot of other “me” stuff. I’m working to get back to that. I miss music most of all though. I miss hearing new music. I miss just being caught up in something that means so much to me. So i’m working on getting back to it.

I’m also working on tying up some loose ends. That means studying for and passing the bar exam and the constant struggle to find some direction in my life. That can be the source of a lot of stress for me, but the reality is, that’s just what life is for me. I’m not comfortable sitting still. i need to be in constant motion. Now i just need to figure out how to make that work for me… updates forthcoming lol

Jan
04

I could sum up this blog with one sentence: Whether you think so or not, my time is valuable.

Growing up we were always that family that arrived late. I have countless friends who stroll in long after the agreed-upon arrival time and seem confused by my impatience and disdain. Perhaps it was the repeated chants of “on-time is late” (and subsequent push-ups and lap-running for being late) at band practice, or the sense of shame I felt when i arrived to functions late, but it’s not something that I have ever been comfortable with.

The fact of the matter is, being late is rude, and it basically sends a message that “you’re not important enough for me to keep my agreement to meet with you at a designated time. Now I understand that things happen. But really, we ALL understand that things happen, so those things should be taken into account. Like “i ran into traffic”… really? traffic at 8:30am on a weekday? I’m not shocked there’s traffic, so why didn’t you leave in enough time to factor in traffic? The only thing worse than the generic “oh i was held up because of XYZ” is the person who offers no explanation, but waltzes in and acts as if there’s nothing wrong.

I won’t sit here and say i’m always on time. But i typically text/call when I’m running late to give a heads up and acknowledge the value of the other person’s time. I think that maybe i should just stop waiting on people. I came up with this as i waited an hour and 15 minutes to be seen for my doctor’s appointment. maybe i need to institute my own grace period and let ppl know… if you’re not there within my grace period you will need to reschedule. Too many people are taking one another’s time for granted and it’s time for folks to start taking a stand.

Jan
02

I don’t mean to be cliche and make the first post of the year about goals and whatnot, but that’s what’s on my mind at this moment. Regardless of the time of year, there are some changes that I need to make to my life and now is as god a time as any to get started.

First and foremost i eat like shit. I used to eat like three different fruits a day, some carrots, cottage cheese.. all that stuff… and then… nothing. It all just came crashing down. Now if it isn’t fried or loaded with butter and/or sugar, i don’t touch it. That has to come to an end. I see the effects of bad eating habits on my mom and I know that i need to do better. Being diagnosed with RA made me realize that there are some things that I will have to deal with no matter what, no need to compound that by eating.

Second, I need to exercise. While i know i need to lose weight, these first two things aren’t so much about weight loss as they are just adopting a healthy life style. As much as I want to believe I’ll be young forever, the reality is, if i don’t take care of myself I won’t be around as long as i’d like. I’m not gonna pretend that i’m going to be in the gym 4 days a week, but i will dust off the wii and just get moving.

Third, I need to study for and pass the California Bar Exam. I took it once and failed, but didn’t fail miserably. I shoulda hopped right back on the horse and taken it again, but I was scared. Now, it’s two years later and I’m going to try again. On the one hand I’m scared to death, I don’t know how I will deal with not passing a second time. In a lot of ways I’m disappointed with myself. I had the time and the opportunity to study my ass off and do well, and I didn’t. The “good” news is, the thing that messed me up is probably the easiest thing to correct. So hopefully, I’ll be able to get it together and make something happen.

Fourth, I need to make some decisions and move forward with them. Not really going to go into depth on this one. I just have some situations going on that i need to work thru. I’ve seen a side of myself the past few months that I’m not sure I like. I want the old Monica back, so I need to work on finding her.

Fifth, I need to make some strides in my finances. My job situation is relatively stable, and possibly improving. Now is the time for me to get rid of a lot of this debt and start to establish some sort of savings. I had honestly planned to cut up my credit cards for 2011, but I chickened out. For now i will have to settle for dropping them off at my mom’s house where i can’t get to them. i’m on track to have my federal student loans wiped out in a few (meaning 9.5) years, and to pay off the other loans ahead of schedule. I don’t mind carrying that debt around, but the credit card debt, and the lack of any real savings are things that i need to fix in order to have some piece of mind.

So yeah, i have the same goals as everyone else, and i’m ok with that. i know it will take time and effort, but i’m willing to do what i can to work on these. I’ll set a reminder to give an update on this in 6 months or so lol.

Happy New Year.

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