Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

Rollercoaster

Today one of my good friends got married and I was once again reminded how stressful weddings can be. Honestly her wedding wasn’t too bad but she was doing wayyyy more coordinating than she should have been. Either way she was a beautiful bride, her husband and his friends were absolute hams and a good time was had by most. I say most because I’m sure that SOMEONE out there had a bad time for some reason so I’m trying my best to be accommodating.

At any rate, the wedding plus fatigue plus life in general caused me to rapidly spin into an downward spiral of sadness, anxiety and frustration. All I know right now is that I don’t want to go back to san francisco… i mean of course i do… but i don’t. I jsut wanna spend a couple of seconds/minutes/hours/days laying in his arms and feeling the soft kisses on my forehead. *sigh* pay me no mind, it’s just hard being away from… oh bah whatever… you know where that’s going…

Back to the wedding. So weddings in general make me fairly emotional, but I managed to avoid the crying thing… until the reception… the father/daughter dance to be exact. I couldn’t help but think about my dad… and how i’d never have that opportunity with him. it was a painfully sobering moment for me and led me to think about 2 million other things… the result? puffy red eyes and sadness.

I’m working on being strong though. I do what I can but sometimes i just want to be angry and sad and hurt. Not because I want to dwell on those feelings, but because I think that what I’m feeling is ok and I don’t want to stifle any of that.

I think i’ve rambled on enough time for bed.

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