Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

Dear Young People, Die… Thanks

Soooo…. We went to the Stussy grand opening party last night at Chloe in Adams Morgan…

Now… Before I start let me say that I really don’t mean to hate on shit… it’s just really easy to… and some people/places/things need to be hated on… Now I’ll continue

So i’m in Adams Morgan at this party. My first clue should have been the terrible line management (mismanagement is what they call it i believe). I fully understand V.I.P.s what I don’t understand is jackass bouncers. Chloe has a jackass bouncer. There was so much posturing and false bravado that I could only assume that his penis is freakishly small. At any rate, the line was halfway up the block and it was raining. And there was a V.I.P. line that was fairly long as well. So they hold the line and start letting V.I.P.s in… cool… but not really. I don’t know what took so long but for every V.I.P. there was the dap hug, a little bit of name dropping and then a twenty minute process to get a wristband. After waiting patiently for a good twenty minutes at the front of the line, the kids in front of us ask how much longer they’ll be in the rain… asshole bouncer #1 says “gotta let VIP in first”… dude is like “i know but it’s raining… i’m just asking’ asshole bouncer says “hey some ppl know ppl and some ppl don’t”. I laffed… like seriously… “some ppl know ppl…” word? Everyone knows ppl. Not everyone is a dickhead bouncer though… that’s what he should’ve said… anyway so the line moves and we’re at the front where mr. big testosterone/small penis comes out to yell loudly and be seen. You know the type… white guy, decent muscles, tight black “muscle” shirt with the club logo. BT/SP spends about 5 minutes overcompensating for his SP by yelling at dickhead bouncer #1… something about how he was going to “regulate the hell out of the line”… again I laffed. So Mr. SP regulates the hell out of the line for about 7 minutes… during which time he let about 85 V.I.P.s in… the best part about the V.I.P. is that there was no actual list… People would be standing there. They’d be like “we’re on the list”… the bouncer would look at the other bouncer and say “they said they’re on the list”. Bouncer 2 would say ok and they’d get in. Last night I should’ve said I was on the list… because clearly i’m on some list somewhere and i think that’s all it takes to get in the club.

After about an 15 minutes in the rain (yeah dumb shit, right?), we get in to this party. This is where my hatred of young ppl comes into play….

I lived thru the 80s. The bad hair, the bamboo earings, the foolishness… For awhile I was all behind the kids dressing up in their best 80s gear. I was loving the nostalgia… all of that… but last night i saw some of the worst club behavior EVER. I’m talking bad dancing… Bad attempts at tryna holler at broads… It was one dude dragging this chick thru the club… old girl was draggin some other dude behind her. Finally the first dude stopped and asked dude why he was following them. Ol’ boy was like she pulled me along… dude one was perplexed the girl just shrugged and again… I laffed. There was bad dancing in circles, bad dancing in front of the bar… I dunno just not my crowd. I got to talk to/network with some folks but it definitely was not my kind of party. The crowd was diverse… but still pretty lame. I wonder if that’s how i looked when I first started going to clubs… i damn sure hope not.

One Response to “Dear Young People, Die… Thanks”

  1. don’t be apologetic for hating on shit ms mittens. stay strong and do it with pride. young people have been ruining my early dismissal from work for years. and we were MUCH cooler when we were younger..MUCH!


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