Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

Now What?

Well… it’s that time where i’m supposed to move on to that next phase in life, but truthfully i feel a bit stagnant. See i have a nasty little habit… i’m an underachiever. Always have been. I like to get by on the minimum amount of work possible. The result is typically piss poor, which i only realize in hindsight… although i’ve been repeating this pattern for years. I have decided that i don’t want to be that person anymore… but now i’m worried that i don’t know how to snap out of my old ways. I’m starting to realize that there are a LOT of things that I want to do with my life, and at the rate i’m going, a lot of those dreams won’t come to fruition. The last thing i want is a life filled with regrets, and yet, that seems to be what i’m setting myself up for.

I didn’t pass the bar exam. I didn’t expect that I would, but when i was in there taking it, i realized that i could pass it. I knew that i had seen/heard all of the material before; i just didn’t take the time to properly commit it to memory. But that’s the Mittens’ way… but that has to stop. Quite frankly, i’m tired of the disappointment that comes along with being “that girl”. I want to achieve and succeed, and know that i worked hard on something and got the desired results. Not that i did the least i could do and managed to squeak by. But how to change the person you’ve been for like 34 years?

i dunno, but i plan to find out.

One Response to “Now What?”

  1. Yeah yo, I’m in a similar boat. Working on working harder, every day. I’m tuned to think Oh I worked hard as shit yesterday, I’m taking it easy today.

    That shit isn’t really sustainable, and won’t get me where I want.

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