Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

Tomorrow = First Day of the Rest of My Life

Yes… i’m being EXTRA dramatic. I mean technically isn’t every day the start of the rest of your life? I always hated that saying, but that is neither here nor there.
So i’ll back up a bit. I’ve been aching something awful since at least February. At the insistence of a good friend, I finally went to the doctor. I had some blood work done and then went to see the specialist. I dunno when this practice started, but before i could see the real doctor, they send in the pre-doctor. She asked me a bunch of questions… did this hurt, did that hurt… etc. i tried repeatedly to explain that while something wasn’t hurting right now, it does hurt from time to time. She wasn’t hearing any of that. If it wasn’t hurting at that moment, then it was a no… after deciding that nothing hurt, she went to talk to the real doctor, who eventually came in and said that based on what they saw there was nothing she could do and that my symptoms weren’t consistent with anything she treated. She also said she wasn’t going to refer me for any blood work.
I politely explained that i had already had blood work done and asked what the results were. She said she had my results in front of her from March and that everything looked ok. I politely explained that i had had blood drawn the week before for the sole purpose of it being reviewed for this appointment. She said that she couldn’t find those results, but that it didn’t matter because the results she was looking at were less than 6 months old and therefore valid. I tried to point out that those tests were for a regular check-up and was waved off. She said that while she was sure that *something* was hurting that i should go see a specialist in fibromyalgia. I took the referral and left feeling worse than i did when i got there. I had been hoping that that appointment would lead to a definitive diagnosis, but no such luck.
That weekend I headed to San Fran for the Memory Walk. On a whim, I emailed my primary care physician and explained to him what had happened. I also told him that she never looked at my blood work. He promised to find the test results and follow up with her. Less than 24 hours later he emailed me back to tell me that she wanted me to come in for a follow-up.
To make an already long story somewhat short, she diagnosed me with rheumatoid arthritis… it’s actually what i thought i had all along. The disease isn’t foreign to me as my mom has it. I’m sad to say that I was further disappointed at my follow-up appointment when the doctor began telling me what medication she was putting me on before she ever “officially” told me what i had.
So now I take 4 pills once a week to help reverse the pattern of the disease.. side effects? well the main ones are that it impairs liver function (so no drinking), it’s damaging to a fetus (so no babies for now), and possible mouth ulcers… and this is stuff that i’m supposed to take forever?
Needless to say i’m looking for another doctor and another medication… As for the title of this post… I got my prescription filled… but i didn’t actually start taking the meds. It’s hard to come to grips with the idea that I will be taking these meds forever…. so, i haven’t started, but i will tomorrow.
The whole thing has me a little depressed to be honest, but i’m trying the best i can to cope.

2 Responses to “Tomorrow = First Day of the Rest of My Life”

  1. Your doctor is an asshole that should be sued for malpractice if possible. With that out of the way. I’m sorry to hear about the bad news. 😦

  2. thanks hun. I’m definitely not a fan of her AT ALL.

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