Green Again

So… she’s the best thing since sliced bread… but him…

*insert swoon here*

I’m happy.  Happier than i’ve been in a lonnnnng time.  I have a best friend and a boyfriend all in one.  And the relationship is fun.  I’m not doing a good job of explaining this but with just ten days left before I leave I’m starting to realize just how lucky I am.  I’m looking forward to the trip… but i hate the idea of leaving my best friend behind.

Either way, time is moving fast and i have a ton to do.  I’m thinking that this weekend will be spent packing, sewing (yes, i sew damnit) and just trying to relax.

I want to start by saying i don’t claim a sexual orientation… those close to me know that. i just like ppl. I am in a committed relationship and that is what matters…

but… there’s “her”

her beauty is so subtle. She doesn’t play it up… or rather she doesn’t exploit it. She’s smart, funny, outgoing, and sexy.. but she doesn’t flaunt it. She’s just ‘her’ and she’s comfortable being ‘her’. That doesn’t happen often… but i like it. It’s relaxing to be around someone who is ok with who she is. No pretense… no need to pretend to be something she’s not… and she’s beautiful.. stunning even… and yet… somewhat intimidating. What would she see in me?

*sigh*

what a night.

So part 1 was at Aroma this past weekend. Good music, good folks, good times…

But now we’re kickin it up a notch (c) Emeril

So this Thursday ?uestlove and Black Thought will be back in town. ?uest always DJs a good set so it we behoove you to bring ya asses. PLUS (and most importantly) it’s a chance to celebrate with me… I mean what could be better.

All jokes aside, this is guaranteed to be a good time so come dance the night away. And be sure to rsvp to save yourself $5 to put towards buying me a drink.

Thanks in advance.

Is that you watch to the 1:42 mark…

wow

Customer service tends to suck.  Point blank period.  It is 9:23am and so far today I have made three customer service related calls… 2/3 of the calls sucked.   Please don’t ever… ever ever ever ever ever… ever bank with Bank of America.  I closed my account that had been open for just 2 days this morning because of the rude customer service reps that I encountered.  One told me that I must not have any money.  Another told me that I opened two accounts because the system said so.  She refused to acknowledge that “the system” could be wrong.  The manager told me that there’s no way to have two accounts in the system unless I opened them both… although she did admit to seeing that one account was opened and then the info was transferred to another account that oppened a second account.  So ummm i politely told them to close both and gimme my shit back.  Fuck BOA

The second call was to the DC govt.  I disputed a ticket in Sept 2007.  It’s still just sitting there.  The lady said that they have up to 6 months to reach a decision (It’s been 8).  I told her it’s been more than 6 and she says “ok”.  I asked when i could expect resolution… she said within 6 months.  I said “another six months?  they have a year to make a decision?”  She said no… 6 months from the date the ticket was issued.  I said “it’s been 8 months”.  She said ok.  I said “that’s more than 6″.  She said ok.  I asked if I was missing something or if there was something she could do.  She asked what I wanted her to do.  I sat speechless for a second or two and i heard “oh no this bitch didn’t hang up on me”.  I told her I was still there and asked what my options were.  She told me that she could send a request that they issue a decision.  I told her I would appreciate that. 

The third call was much better.

I just don’t get it.  I admittedly hate ppl.  I have no patience for them.  But i can’t imagine being so unnecessarily rude to people.  It’s just uncalled for.  I hope they have happiness in their lives because they’re clearly not getting it at work.

So in 2004 two groups of really talented people came together to make two really great albums.  2004 was the last time I can remember being head over heels in love with hip hop.
The albums were:

and

I’ll talk about the second one first.

So ok… Ed O.G. or Edo G  or whatever it is… I liked his what 3 singles back in 1991 (Be a Father to Your Child, I Got to Have It, and Bug-A-Boo) but i was by no means an Ed O.G. “fan”.  So when I heard in 2004 that he had an album out it was kinda like… so?  And then I heard who was doing the majority of the production… Pete Rock.  I was immediately interested.  In November 2004 I was a first year law student hating my life.  I had always had a thing for darker grittier beats but the frustration of school mixed with the cold temps made my mood a bit darker.  When I first heard the album I was in shock.  I remember sitting the den and just listening with my eyes closed.  It all worked.  It was one of those rare albums that I could listen to in its entirety without even thinking of skipping a song.  I listened to that album on my way to and from school almost everyday.  I loved how it made me feel… and it made me appreciate Edo G (wtf is up with the name change by the way?).  Needless to say from there I went on to become a fan of his group Special Teamz (even though i lost all of their music when my hard drive died).  That was also the first time in a long time that I actually went checking for someone else based on something i heard.  As of late music hasn’t moved me that much to where i want to learn more and see what else an artist has to offer.

This second album actually came out first (June 2004).  It’s no secret that I spend a little bit of time over at okayplayer.  So when the buzz behind Connectedbegan I was kinda at “ground zero”.  It’s also no secret that I kind of like to hate on shit that other ppl are hyping up.  It’s ALSO no secret that I wasn’t a big fan of Little Brother at that time.  So from jump this album had some strikes against it. So ok… you got an album that I’m purposely not checking for because people are hailing it as the second coming of Jesus with a rapper that I didn’t care for… it was just so blah to me… BUT I love Von Pea.

Yes… it was really that simple.  I ignored the album until i heard Von’s joint… and I was immediately smitten with the entire damn album.  It started off innocently enough: I was just gonna listen to Von Sees… but because the album is sequenced so fucking perfectly, there was no point for me to turn that shit off.  In my opinion every single person involved in that album went above and beyond anything I had ever heard from them at that point.  Nicolay’s beats were so “unhiphop” and yet so fuckin perfect.  Like if i had just heard the instrumental the LAST thing I would’ve thought about was hip hop. I am blown away at the idea that Phonte listened to that and was like ok yeah…  Imma rap over this here… and then the fact that he went in there and killed it… goodness.  ok… So yeah… Nic, Tay, Von… they’re all amazing.  But then so was everyone else!
Usually when there’s an album or a song with a bunch of muthafuckas there’s that one really weak link (see Illa Ghee on Alchemist/Mobb Deep’s “Hold You Down).  But everyone else stepped up to the plate too… I mean *I* was reciting Joe Scudda lyrics and most ppl know i’m not a Scudda fan at all.  But the best song on that entire album (sorry Von) is “The Answer”.  In 2004 I didn’t know what a Low Budget Crew was and quite frankly didn’t care… but after hearing that song?  I started trying to see what that crew had to offer.  The beauty of that song is that there are three totally different styles and yet it all comes together so seemlessly.

The song kicks off with Oddissee who I’ll admit to being fairly “eh” on.  Not hate… just not much interest… but putting him first was a good move cuz he sets the tone for how hard the song is gonna hit.  ”I one of the chosen few…”  Perfect start to the song.  I don’t claim to know what an artist is thinking when they write songs… but I choose to believe that that line should be taken in two ways… one… he’s one of the best rappers out and two… he’s one of the three chosen to be on this track.  I couldn’t have said it better.
Each MC on this song one ups the one before him…  Despite the high bar that Oddissee sets with his confident lyrics, Phonte steps in and effortlessly one ups him.  I honestly feel like this album is the best stuff I’ve heard from Tay so far.  This album made me realize that my issue with Little Brother wasn’t that I didn’t like Tay and Pooh… it was that I didn’t like 9th.  Ok let me clarify… I quickly grew tired of hearing Tay and Pooh over 9th’s beats.  At that point in his career 9th’s beats were a bit monotonous… at least the LB stuff.   So while I could appreciate his talent, I don’t think that it gave Tay and Pooh the chance to really step out and be more versatile.   Anywho… Tay did his thing.. and once again set the bar pretty high thus proving that “fuckin with Tay ain’t in your best interest… on the real.”
Somehow though, Kenn Starr follows this with even more braggadocio and passion proving that he’s more than worthy of being on this track.   From jump his aggressive word play mixed with his laid back delivery (kenn starr is back off of hiatus/ y’alll been warned so back off us, why haters/ be actin’ like they strapped and packin’ gats when/ they not tough, they tough actin’ like tenactin) flawlessly completes this triumverate of rappers and makes this one of the best songs I’ve heard in some time. 
If it wasn’t for that song I don’t think I would’ve even cared or thought twice about:

or

or even:

I don’t know if two albums will EVER come close to touching me the way those two did… but i’m hoping it happens some day.

The Hundreds has opened a store in San Francisco (585 Post Street to be exact)

Now ever since I started seeing the logo, i’ve been a fan… but i figured that with such a cool logo there were gonna get a ton of shine and i just didn’t wanna have on what everyone else had on…
So ok.. they’ve opened this store and they have a new limited edition tee…

I need this shirt. So if you’re in San Francisco… and you can go to 585 Post Street and pick me up an XL I would be forever greatful…
This post is of course geared towards Eric.

Ok bye

So…

I went… and it was every bit as bad as I imagined it would be. My dad pretty much looked like a skelton covered with skin. I sat as long as I could but really… there wasn’t much I could do. Tried to wake him a few times but he was unresponsive so I mostly let him sleep. I talked to him a bit and then headed home.

I’ve had a pretty stressful few days… and in three weeks i leave for 10 weeks. I’m not ready… mentally, emotionally… i’m just not ready. My support system is in DC and I’m leaving… but it’ll make me stronger in the long run… right?

I think i’m gonna get some more ink done in San Fran. It’s amazing how theraputic the whole process is to me. It’s a safer alternative to what i did in the past. Yes… I was a cutter. That whole shit seems so long ago.. but the rush that used to come over me when the pain would hit was oddly calming… I think the psych said it had to do with being in control of the pain instead of being at the mercy of someone else.

You know… sometimes I worry about making this blog too personal. I know friends, acquaintances, enemies, coworkers, family members, etc read this… Maybe eventually I’ll pull the “fun” stuff away from the private stuff.. but that’s just it… I don’t consider my life to be private. Of course there’s stuff that I wouldn’t ever put here, but I feel like all the other stuff gives like background info on who I am and why I am. If it makes people uncomfortable maybe that’s a good thing… who knows. Either way, I can only be who I am… and quite frankly, I like me.

The last time my dad was in the hospital I was in high school.  He had two brain tumors removed and I put off seeing him for the longest time.  When I finally went he was fine… but I still cried.  I imagine that today will be a million times worse than that.  My understanding is that he’s in the bed with all types of tubes and whatnot.  His hands are restrained so he can’t pull anything out.  He won’t open his eyes.  He isn’t able to speak coherently.  I don’t want to see that.

Is that selfish?  Yes.  But it’s the truth.  I can do hospitals when there’s a baby involved because that’s a happy time… but death and sadness?  not so much.  I don’t even know how long I’m supposed to stay.  My mom and sisters have gone over there for hours… I don’t know if I can do that.  I don’t know what to say or what to do and it hurts.  I wish we knew when he was getting out.  Then again, if i knew that I would put off going to see him.  I’m gonna do my best today.  I’m sure i’ll be a blubbering mess within 2 minutes of walking in the door.

So I finally got the official run down of what has happened so far from my mom…

First, I have a correction, he went two weeks without eating, not three. So my mother has called my dad’s physician throughout the last two weeks to express concern over the fact that all the man eats is applesauce and drinks Ensure. The doctor tells her that as long as he’s drinking ensure, he’s fine… Last night my mom called again to say she wanted someone to look at him. They again tried to brush her off. She said enough is enough and insisted… upon arrival they took one look at him and realized how sick he was.

After having several nurses question why she wouldn’t feed him they finally began giving him an IV. So far the docs have said that he has kidney failure and he was given a blood transfusion this morning because his white blood cell count is so off.

I’m pissed that the doctor brushed off my mother and her concern but i’m even more pissed that someone would ask her why she “wouldn’t” feed him… as if she was withholding food from him for some reason. My mother is an extremely dedicated caregiver and I can only imagine how crushed she was to be accused of such things.

For now my dad is in the ICU. I told my mom to just sleep. He is receiving the best care possible right now and the best thing for her to do is to just get some sleep since she doesn’t when he’s in the house. I hope they keep him for a couple of days 1) to stabilize him and build his body back up and 2) to give my mother a chance to recuperate. I’m just glad she finally stopped listening to the doctor.