Gangsta Mittens
Words combined to express thoughts. Pictures displayed to convey emotion. Opening my brain to the world.

Feb
18

Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/gangstamittens

I’ve been a music fan for as long as i can remember. When i was younger i was all about rock, but as i got older i realized that I was all about hip hop. One thing i really appreciate about the information age is the “access” that we have to our favorite musicians. I have come to realize that this is the ultimate gift and a curse.

I remember when i was growing up, Molly Ringwald was my idol. An aspiring actress, i was enamored with her and her accomplishments. i remember taking the time to carefully craft a letter that would attract the attention of her publicist… mastering the art of asking for an autographed pic without specifically saying “can you please send me an autographed picture?”. Molly, Will Wheaton, River Phoenix (RIP), … i wrote to all of them, hoping to get a response… it’s not like that now. I can find any of my favorite artists online… well most. Myspace, facebook, twitter…. they’re around. Talking to fans, posting their thoughts… they’re around speakin out on what they think/feel… for all the world to see. On the one hand it’s great! sending messages in the hopes that they’ll respond – providing immediate gratification… on the other hand, it completely sucks. Celebrities use to have som level of mystery.. what was C. Thomas Howell’s fave color?!!?? only BOP had such important info. Now? A carefully crafted google search can tell me that and more. It’s a little depressing to be honest. But I can’t help but wonder what it means for the artists. I mean, clearly they want to communicate via interweb, but that makes it hard for them to maintain their anonymity. That must suck.

I used to want to be famous…. now? not so much

Categorized in fame
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Feb
16

Homesick

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I miss the Bay… terribly. I’m trying not to let it get to me, especially in light of the fact that i’m really not sure when I’ll be back there. Over the past few months I’ve come to realize that i actually don’t hate DC. The city just has a lot of negative energy that I could honestly do without. That being said, I’ve started to become more accepting of the fact that this might just be where i’m going to end up. I’m not really worried about it. Just curious about what the future holds.

Categorized in DC, Growth, Life and San Francisco

Feb
13

Strange

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That’s the best word to describe what I’m feeling as of late. It’s not the only word… but it’s the best. There’s a lot going on around me. Some of it directly affects me, some of it indirectly affects me… but it’s there. I have about 9 weeks until i close some pretty big chapters in my life: graduation… marriage… my current job at Sirius XM… the looming bar exam… there’s just a lot going on. Truth be told it’s making me uneasy.

I really lack motivation. The problem is, I don’t know if it’s because i have such a strong dislike for what I do or if it’s because of something else. Part of me thinks I should go ahead and get back on meds, but I’m not convinced that’s the right thing to do. I keep telling myself that I want to finish up strong, and I’m not doing anything about it. I’m working on it though… or at least I say I am. All i know is some changes need to be made ASAP so that I won’t look back on anything else in my life with regrets.

Categorized in Dreams, Goals, Growth, Law School, Life, Therapy, Wedding and XM

Jan
23

This is not what I planned

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2009 was supposed to be great. It was supposed to be a continuation on the good fortune of 2008. It’s supposed to be my chance to put the pain from 2008 behind me and to move on. A time of growth. A time of celebration… but it’s not quite living up to that just yet. I’m doing my best to stay positive, but i’m finding it a little tough.

I have a ton of things to be happy and grateful for and I try to remind myself of this everyday, but it’s taking a lot of effort to keep a smile on my face.

Categorized in Friendship, Growth and Life

Jan
19

Getting Better

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Sometimes, it’s hard to be the person that I want to be. Whether it’s obstacles that come from the outside world, or those that I place on myself, I sometimes find myself seemingly stuck in one place and unable to move forward. Usually I feel like I am just generally unmotivated and quite frankly, that’s not the person I want to be. I want to be able to say i’m a “self-starter” and a “go-getter” and all those other hyphenated feel good words. But the reality is, I’m just not. At least not right now.

I need to make some serious changes in my life. I need to do a lot of things differently. I have a ton of regrets in life, and I’m done with feeling that way. I’m trying to decide between writing down tangible goals and just doing what I know needs to be done. Haven’t quite figured out the best way to go about it yet. But I’m running out of time. My next milestone is May of this year and I would love to be able to look at myself and see the better person that I’ve become.

Categorized in Goals and Growth

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