Gangsta Mittens

May

Where did the time go?

So last year it seemed like the summer would NEVER get here. The drive to San Fran seemed so far on the horizon… it just couldn’t get there fast enough… but this year? Everything is moving at lightening speed.

In the past couple of weeks i’ve been meeting up/reuniting with friends who I know I won’t get to see for at least a couple of months. It’s been nothing but good times. Add to that the fact that my niece was nice enough to have her baby yesterday so that I can see Mila before I leave town… and I got a rather unexpected call from a good friend from the past. There’s just so much going on… and I’m about to travel thousands of miles away. Oh what I wouldn’t do for just one more week in DC. But it ain’t gonna happen so no need to think about it.

I’m really excited about starting this internship. I’m extremely anxious to see what I will be doing and where I will be working. There’s also the fact that I’ll be living in my favorite city for a couple of months, hanging out with some good friends and just having an all around enjoyable summer. Did I mention how excited I am?
They also moved my dad to a nursing home yesterday. I plan to head over that way before I leave as well. Everything is so strange in my family. But I’m embracing it. Most interestingly to me is my mom. As awful as it may seem to say, having my dad in the hospital and now in a nursing home has been really good for her. She’s eating, she says she’s gotten her appetite back. She’s happier and she’s getting out more. I guess it’s not PC to say that she’s doing better with him gone… and it sounds so messed up to say, but i don’t mean it from a selfish standpoint. She was essentially spending her days stressed out… shut up in the house, unable to leave, verbally abused by the man she has been married to for over 50 yrs. And even though she understood that it wasn’t really “him” saying those things to her, it still hurt. But she’s doing better. And she’s getting back to taking care of herself. She sees him at least every other day and it seems like she’s handling it well.

As for me… I have about 11 weeks worth of stuff to pack up. I prolly won’t get back to this blog until at least monday evening.

Categorized in DC, Growth, Life and San Francisco

May

Static v. Dynamic

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In life there appear to be two forces that work together. There are those things that are fairly static. They may change gradually over time, but for the most part these things are the constants. Additionally, there are those things that seem to change rapidly, week to week… day to day… Those things seem to change very quickly, swarming and circling around the constants without any real rhyme or reason.

I need to learn to embrace the swarm for what it is and focus more of the constant. The thing with the swarm is that it’s fast and interesting… exciting even. But the constant, that’s what matters. I have a core group of friends… folks that I can turn to for honest convos that go beyond the surface level… folks that have constantly called to ask me about my dad… folks that have helped me count down the days til I leave… folks that have lended an ear or a shoulder throughout some of the lowest points in my life… and yet somehow I still get distracted by the flashy.

This year (and for the rest of my life, I hope) i’m gonna try to focus more on the constants. Focusing my energy on the constants will hopefully bring me more positivity.

Categorized in Friendship, Goals, Growth and Life

May

Slow Down…

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That would be my message to Father Time right about now. I managed to pack one suitcase last night and will be packing the other over the next several days. I have no clue how I’m supposed to get all this stuff to the airport or how much extra money I’m going to spend on additional baggage fees. which is all rather wack. This whole thing with the gas prices is beyond out of control and i’m just tired of having to pay extra for shit. Especially since even if gas prices drop tomorrow, these mofos ain’t gonna lower prices. It now costs about $40 to fill up my tank 😦 I mean it’s a Corolla… you’re not supposed to pay $40 to fill up a Corolla. But I guess we should’ve all seen this coming.

But ok yeah… so time is speeding past. Part of me feels like i’m right on schedule… the other part of me is freaking out. I think i just feel like I’m going to forget something. That would be the control freak side of me. I don’t like to not have control over stuff. I like to be able to have my hands on things and to fix them. Not being in control frustrates me. On the other hand I cannot wait to get out of DC… and once BJ gets to SF it’ll be that much better.

At any rate, I should probably go focus on the stuff i need to get done… this ipod isn’t going to update itself… although it’d be dope if it did!

Categorized in Life, San Francisco and travel

May